For Now: Leaving
by J9
Summary: It should hurt but it doesn't. (Companion piece to "For Now: Staying" WarrickSara friendship)


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Title: For Now: Leaving

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Author: Jeanine (jeanine@iol.ie)

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Rating: PG

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Pairing: Sara/Warrick

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Spoilers: None

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Feedback: Makes my day

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Disclaimer: If it was in the show, it's not mine.

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Archive: At my site Checkmate () , Fanfiction.net; anywhere else, please ask.

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Summary: It should hurt, but it doesn't.

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Notes: Companion piece to "For Now: Staying" and written for the LiveJournal FirstLines1000 challenge. 

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It should hurt, but it doesn't. 

Warrick always thought it would be harder to walk away from this place where he's spent most of his working life, even harder to leave the city where he's spent his entire life. But he's leaving next week to begin a new life as a touring musician, the job of his dreams, and he can't wait. 

He smiles as he looks around the break room, at the friends who have gathered to wish him well, at the cake on the table, the banner on the wall, even a bottle of champagne that, were he still a betting man, he'd bet Grissom sprang for. They toast him and he makes a speech before he makes the ceremonial first cut of the cake, leaving Catherine to take charge of distribution. That's when he notices the flash of dark hair disappearing out the door.

He moves to follow, is waylaid by Nick and Greg, who he humours to allow her time alone. "Look guys," he says. "Keep some cake for me ok? I want to go get Sara."

Nick and Greg exchange a significant look before turning identical too-innocent faces to him. "Sara?" Greg asks. 

"Who's been going around all day like she's lost her best friend?" Nick adds, unmistakable inflection in his voice, and Warrick shakes his head, knowing exactly what they're thinking. 

He doesn't dignify it with comment, instead heading out, straight to where he's sure Sara will have gone; the locker room. He knocks on the door gently, opens it just enough to call in, "Everyone decent in there?", a comment innocent enough to pass by anyone else, suggestive enough to make her smile. 

Which it does if her reply, "Would it stop you if I weren't?" is anything to go by. 

"Hell no," he tells her, entering the room, stopping just for a second when he looks at her, sees the raw pain in her eyes. 

She must see that knowledge course through him, because she gives him a smile, asks, "Can the party go on without the guest of honour?"

Right now, he doesn't give a damn about the party, so he shrugs, joining her on the bench. "I'll go back in a few minutes. Just wanted to check on you."

There's a second's pause. "I was just going out for a smoke," she tells him, with the worst poker face he's ever seen.

"You quit last year," he reminds her. "Again." 

She chuckles at his phrasing, as he knew she would. "How do you know I haven't started again?"

It's too easy, so he just says simply, "I know." Then, unable to resist teasing her, especially now, he leans towards her and sniffs exaggeratedly. "Besides, I'm paid to observe."

"Not anymore." 

The words are quiet and filled with hurt, and their tone breaks his heart. "Sara…" 

"Don't Warrick," she says, standing, her back to him. "I'm happy for you... honestly I am." Except she doesn't sound it, and she's got the saddest looking back Warrick's ever seen. "It's just… " 

She starts with surprise when he puts his hands on her shoulders, and he's surprised himself, having hardly realised that he was standing. "Just?" he prompts. 

She turns, but he doesn't move his hands, her words surprising him again. "You remember when we first met?" 

He does, just doesn't like to. "I'm not likely to forget." He's not sure why she's bringing this up now, but she just smiles sadly. 

"I was thinking about that earlier," she says. "I was so down on you… I never thought we'd get along." He hadn't either, can hardly believe how things have changed. "And then, somewhere along the way, you ended up becoming my best friend." There are tears in her eyes and he rubs her shoulders in wordless comfort. "And I'm really going to miss you." 

"Sara…" He'd known, of course, that she was taking his leaving hard, everybody had noticed it. He just hadn't realised that she was taking it this hard, and he rubs her shoulders while he tries to come up with the right words to say. "I'm leaving CSI," he finally says. "I'm not leaving your life. We'll write, we'll call, there'll be visits… I'm coming back."

He means every word, and she gives him a sad smile. "I know, I know… but it's not going to be the same." 

He doesn't know what to do, what to say, so he tries something new, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her into a hug. To his surprise, she goes willingly, wrapping her arms around his waist, and when he can't see her face, it's easy to be as honest with her as she was with him. "I'm gonna miss you too." 

They both know when it's time to separate, but unwilling to break contact, Warrick runs a hand down her arm as she smiles up at him, tilting her head towards the door. "We should get back… see if there's any cake left."

"Should be," he says. "I told them to keep some when I saw you bolting." 

She looks taken aback at his words. "People know you went after me?"

"Just Nick. And Greg." He knows the joke's on them both, and she barely keeps back a groan. 

"You know what they're going to be saying, right?"

"Yeah." He takes a step back, just in case. "But I'll be gone in a few days, so I don't care that much." 

She narrows her dancing eyes, hits out at him, but he's ready, catching her hand in mid-air, not letting it go. "Come on," he says. "You owe me a dance."

Sara doesn't dance, but she dances with him that day, and as he holds her in his arms, he knows he didn't tell her the whole truth earlier, that while it doesn't hurt to leave CSI, or Vegas, it hurts to leave her. 

He doesn't tell her, just holds her. 

And for now, it's enough. 


End file.
